Untangling

UNTANGLE

I drew a tangled ball of wool

And looked up from my art

A connection to myself

I’d identified a start

Do you have tangles too?

That you thought you’d sorted out

Do they need your attention?

Do you hear them shout?

My wool is soft and comforting

It helps me ease the pain

If I’m going to explore that tangle

I’ll ensure to make it plain

I’m untangling for my higher good

I don’t mean to offend

There’s peace in possibility

Together we can send

An acceptance of those tangles

Let’s not judge that imperfection

I need to know you love that difference

What a spectacular collection!

I’m going to get straight to the point of pain here - face that pain. Continue to untangle that ball of wool. Let those fluffy tangles feel the ease of not being scrunched up.

I receive Connect edition’s from the Royal Commission into Violence, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability. I read with passion and compassion the stories shared. The findings, that are suddenly more public than ever before. The last edition of Connect included a link to a Research Report - Disability in Australia: Shadows, struggles and successes: A useable socio-cultural history of disability in Australia by Lorna Hallahan and Flinders University.

This report bought me to tears, it made me laugh out loud at times and it filled me with rage and hope all at once. Yes, the full gamut of emotions and I need to go back and have another read of the report - it’s so well presented.

When it’s difficult to see oneself represented in the community in any way other than burdensome or a victim (because that historically has been the language used to describe stroke) then it’s a good reason to believe one is not able to contribute or is even wanted by society - I did not want to identify as being a burden or a victim. This very language separated me from the tangles in my own ball of wool.

I loved that ball of wool and I am loving how I continue to HEAL, there is no end to the curiosity of untangling and I have embraced a few key words to describe the momentum that’s moving me forward at the moment:

RECOGNITION - The courage to recognise a tangle from the past.

PROCESSING - the self empowerment from looking back at a tangle, look at it with loving kindness - that everyone was doing the best they knew how at the time, including myself. And then acting on what feeling needs to be released. Exercise involving the opportunity to get ANGRY in a personal training session has been so beneficial. Having a conclusion to that session which returns me to love and peace. Wow - I’m so thankful to be working with some skilled instructors who move with me as I continue to process.

COURAGE - To recognise me on that hospital bed with all my wounds, barely breathing, barely in this world - I loved me in that space, how could I not! How courageous was I to continue to breathe and think beyond the current situation I was in. How courageous were the team of medical professionals delivering life saving treatment to such an unknown outcome. Somehow there was an understanding of the energy put into saving my life between us all.

EMBRACE - I stop to give myself a hug, try my very best to look at new situation’s with as much warmth and generosity of spirit as I can in the moment.

Peace and love to your own tangles.

Sue